The neighborhood

I have contemplated writing a book about all of the riggamoroll that goes on in our neighborhood. At least the stuff that directly affects me. I've never really known where to start, so I guess I will just get some stuff off of my chest.
1. WATCH YOUR BABY (IES).
-If you have a child who can walk, that does not mean he knows to stay out of the street. Even if cars are coming. Just because I'm outside with my herd, doesn't mean I am out here to babysit the neighborhood. Don't let your 10 month old walking baby out of your site. I have run out of my house to snatch him out of the street too many times while you are in the house and unaware of his whereabouts.
2. STOP ASKING TO BORROW MONEY.
-I'm not sure why you need to borrow $40 every 3 days, but I'm wise to you. I'm not lending you money, so quit asking!
3. I JUST MET YOU YESTERDAY, NO I DON'T WANT TO BABYSIT.

-Hi, nice to meet you neighbor. Could you please babysit? Thanks...(driving away before I can "politely" refuse). Did you not notice my 4 kids running around? Did you not notice I have company who also have 4 kids? Really?
4. IF YOU WERE WATCHING YOUR BABY HE WOULDN'T BE IN MY BACKYARD WOULD HE?
-Yesterday my new neighbor (not even the same one as above) asked if I could help her get her 2 year old out of my backyard. Which has my 105 pound dog back there. "how did he get back here?" (I'm asking so I can put something else on my gate that already has a latch and a chain.) "He just squeezed through." Really? Where were you when your 2 year old was playing in the FRONT yard alone? I know it's hard, but I'm also not biting on your hints for me to babysit. I don't have anyone to babysit either. I take 4 kids shopping every time I leave my house, they all come with me. You have one.
5. WHEN I WALK OUTSIDE TO PLAY WITH MY KIDS PLEASE DON'T FREAK ME OUT BECAUSE YOU'RE IN MY BACK YARD AND I DIDN'T KNOW.
-Just because my kids are playing in our FENCED IN back yard doesn't mean that you can just walk into my FENCED IN yard and play with your kids. If you want to ask that's fine. I don't mind. But when I walk into my backyard and you yell hello in my face and I have no idea that you are there, I may accidentally hurt you.
6. WHEN WE HAVE PEOPLE OVER PLEASE DON'T COME OVER AND SIT IN MY BACKYARD WITH YOUR FEET ON MY PATIO TABLE.
-If we have company, please don't come by. I don't want to babysit either. My 4 + however many people that I'm entertaining and however many kids they have doesn't = party or free sitting. We also eat on that patio table. So please don't put your feet on it.

Yes. This is my life. I have one set of normal neighbors. I hope they never move. I am not trying to be un Christ like either. I also think that I have enough common sense to not ask someone I just met to baby-sit or go to someone's house uninvited. My kids play with most of the kids on our street, but they are kids. I don't mind if the kids all want to ride bikes, or sit on the porch and have popsicles. I'm not heartless. What I don't like is people assuming that I'm responsible for their children, or not treating me with the same respect I would treat them. I wouldn't go to someone's cookout uninvited. I wouldn't walk in someone's backyard uninvited. Maybe I'm the weird one, but that is how I was raised. You don't wear shoes in someone's house and you NEVER go in someone's fridge either. If you give birth to a child it belongs to you. Not the neighbor.

You should be afraid.
You could end up in
MY neighborhood!