Do you ever get attacked? I did yesterday. It wasn't horrible, just annoying. I was totally attacked about Wednesday night Bible study. Satan told me I did a horrible job leading and it stunk. I was upset for a short time. I didn't particularly like the chapter in the book. It is a book about how to be more like Jesus. It was a good chapter, I just didn't feel like the chapter focused enough on the point the author was trying to make. I was nervous going into group, and I think Satan used that to really try to make me miserable yesterday. I called my friend, but she couldn't get to her phone when I called. When she called back, I missed it. I decided not to call her back though. I didn't want to rely on a person to make me feel better. I wanted God to do that. I wasn't immediately better, but God equipped me to put life into perspective. I talked to my friend today(the one that I had called yesterday) and she reminded me about what we had talked about in Bible study the night before: about needing someone to cheer for us sometimes to get us through. To help us to focus and persevere. We do, sometimes we NEED that. Yesterday, I didn't. I needed to go to God and ask Him to help me through, to get me through. It wasn't some big crisis, just Satan trying to get my focus away from all that is important. Humans do need encouragement, I am not saying that, but we also need to rely on God, because He is the only one who can meet all of our needs. I thought of the Nicole Nordeman song Legacy. I was in bed and wanted to jump up and write this post so bad, just not bad enough to actually get up and write it! Anyway, I wanted that accolade and I wanted someone to tell me what a great job I did. I don't want that now. I want to hear God say "Well done good and faithful servant". That is what is important. That is all that matters. Enough rambling I guess. Here are the lyrics for the song from Nicole Nordeman :
I don't mind if you've got something nice to say about me
And I enjoy an accolade like the rest
You could take my picture and hang it in a gallery
Of all who's who and so-n-so's that used to be the best
At such'n'such ... it wouldn't matter much
I won't lie, it feels alright to see your name in lights
We all need an 'Atta boy' or 'Atta girl'
But in the end I'd like to hang my hat on more besides
The temporary trappings of this world
I want to leave a legacy
How will they remember me?
Did I choose to love? Did I point to You enough
To make a mark on things?
I want to leave an offering
A child of mercy and grace who
blessed your name unapologetically
And leave that kind of legacy
I don't have to look too far or too long awhile
To make a lengthly list of all that I enjoy
It's an accumulating trinket and a treasure pile
Where moth and rust, thieves and such will soon enough destroy
Not well traveled, not well read, not well-to-do or well bred
Just want to hear instead, "Well Done" good and faithful one...
1 comment:
I feel this way constantly. Almost every week after worship I feel like I did a terrible job. It doesn't matter if all I did was sing, or if all I did was play guitar. Without a doubt, every week, Satan gets in there and makes me think I didn't do a good job and that people weren't led to worship God. He makes me feel like I failed at leading. It's hard, during those times, to not seek human reassurance, but your post is convicting that I don't need to ask everyone else if I did a good job, I just need to ask myself if I worshipped God that day. If I did, then everything else is unimportant. Thanks for the reminder.
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